DUSTY

A lot of people sent me questions about the signet dirt that Dungeons and Dragons players keep in their pockets most of the time. I am here to tell you that this is a very true and real thing, so please keep that in mind.

Dungeons and Dragons players are very sad people most of the time. I think it is because it is hard for them to find people to play with, especially if they are not Dungeon Masters and they have to find someone to build an entire world for free which is not a very easy task! Signet dirt is the tie that binds these boys and girls together, everybody.

"Oh," you say. "I'm playing poker all the time and I don't need no vibrating dirt in my pants to find nobody to play with!", you say. Well, that is a bunch of garbage to say if you are thinking of saying that, because poker is on television. Poker is very popular, and everybody from sailors to black people to the president of the United States plays poker, mostly because it enhances drunkenness due to the patterns of cards flashing by, and the effect that has on an intoxicated brain.

Anyway.

Every Dungons and Dragon kit comes with enough signet dirt to find at least three nearby players within a 500 foot radius, and it vibrates harder the closer you get. My friend who explained this to me (he is black by the way which totally makes the last post even more confusing to me) said that some people misuse the vibration feature of the dirt, and he made an ugly face when he said it. I guess I'll have to do more research because he wouldn't explain that part to me.