ComPLETEly gross!!

Do you guys remember my friend Russ from a few months ago? I call him Russ-From-Upstairs now, because we live in the same house and don't talk to each other much anymore. I heard him watching Hardcore Pornography upstairs and he had it on so loud that it woke me and my dog up and really gave me the willies until I could figure out what it was!

I knocked on his door but he just put down the volume and pretended I wasn't there. WELL EVERYBODY KNOWS NOW, RUSS-FROM-UPSTAIRS.

I got an e-mail everybody!!

Guys,

Here is the e-mail I just recently received thanks to my post asking about sleeping dogs:


"hey parnell

you should tuck him in. does he only wake up when you are making noises though?

Don-Don"


Thanks for typing in, "Don-Don"! As a "Friend of the Blog," "Don-Don," you know that I always tuck my dog in. And he always gets up! I told him that 9PM was his bedtime (Central Time). He still gets up.

Good point about making noises at the dog. I actually only do that when I want to see if he's only pretending to sleep. I am pretty sure he does that sometimes just to make me mad about something! Especially when I don't give him the dog treats that are his favorite!

Thanks for writing in, "Don-Don"!

This is Parnell, Signing Off!

About something else everybody.

I am tired of talking about the ordeal that I had. I'm back into the public, so let's get crackin' on that, people!

I met a new friend (NOT a stalker thank you very much) named Don-Don, who I mentioned was the one who gave me the idea to give cigarettes to the stalker. Don-Don is called that even though none of his names are Don (his name is Donald)! He makes great food most of the time, and he's very nice to his family except for his brother Patrick.

He's 33 years old (I am not that old yet!) and he's probably my best friend, at least out of the new ones. I'm thinking of becoming friends with his brother Patrick, even though he tells me not to.

Anyway I am signing off. My dog woke up again. Can someone e-mail me about why he won't listen?

More about the guy.

First off, the guy who stalked me was creepy because he had a really ugly beard. I mean, who doesn't want to shave normally? I shave every morning even the mornings when my hair decided to stay in bed awhile longer. This guy was just a prickly mess. He was like a man with brillo pads on his face (is brillo pads trademarked... do I have to pay them? Someone e-mail me and tell me if I owe money).

I met him at a bar, which is crazy because I don't even drink very often! I only drink like NEVER (sorry for the caps). He asked me a question that I thought was weird.

The question was: "Have you ever put yourself in another dude?"

I thought he was talking about like hiding in a man's stomach, which I thought was pretty funny. I laughed, and then he laughed. And then he said, "I know, right?"

My "Creeper Alarm" is what went off here but then I gave him my phone number because he asked for it.

I'll tell more later, right now I need to finish this juice and put my dog to bed.

It's been awhile everybody so things are going to change around here.

Hello and this is Parnell and I'm going to talk about why smoking is good if someone is stalking you.

If you are being stalked, you can turn the people you think are stalking you on to smoking! I have been stalked recently (sorry I didn't post while I was scared about that but really that was scary!) and I gave the man that I thought maybe was following me a pack of Marlboro Reds, which my friend Don-Don calls "Cowboy Killers" (they don't only kill cowboys but you already knew that). I found at least twelve cigarettes of the same kind sitting outside my window!

The man is now in jail and I can resume regular blogging. I don't want to get naked in front of windows ever again. Maybe you shouldn't, either.